Hello .
Its me , back to blogging today.
I slept at 4am last night and was awaked at 8am this morning by my sister.
Well, i was posted to Republic poly , Business application.
Though i was hoping for hospitality in the past, blame myself for not working hard enough.
But, i'm satisfied because i wanted this course since september .
I can't go back to sleep this morning so i went to watch tv ,
after that i tried listening to music and thankgod, i'm finally back to sleep.
I woke up at 2pm filled with 4 text messages , silly-ly hoping for yours but,
none . :)
Theres nothing i can do , and i seriously hate it when i fake a smiley face everytime.
I was in the process of forgetting you but , it never work out.
Theres nothing left to say, i just have to be the one leaving .
I don't know why , am i really dumb or something ? :(
I tried to make you understand how i feel but you never cared ,
So thats it. I told you i missed you but, you ignored it.
Everything wasn't said but it was done :)
From the first day i know you, i knew i wasn't the type of girl you will like.
But, i hopelessly hoped that miracle would happen to me .
I demand too much, hoped too much, thinking i deserve you.
Maybe i really don't .
In the past , i admit i was never a good girlfriend to any of my ex.
Of course i know , no one is perfect but it takes someone special to look beyond
imperfections .
I was told ,you don't like talkative girls ,
So i tried to change for you. Maybe what i did wasnt enough or just maybe,
even if i really changed, you wouldn't like me even.
All along i'm the one with wishful thinkings .
I hate it when ppl calls me an emo, but, its not that im seeking for attention you see.
Its that , i have to where to share my feelings , i cant hide it.
I know if i keep it in my heart, it will explode someday .
I never blame you for not liking me , i didnt blame you for keeping quiet.
Cos all along , im the one being initative .
Maybe , in some way , i scared you away, maybe,
im too rushy to share my feelings ,
I regretted everything i did ,
Cause , maybe you came to look for friend but , i took love away.
Now , i wonder, if you really did text me later , tomorrow or later in the day,
Should i feel happy or ? Sigh .
I don't know why it hurts so much .
Everything just fucked up in 2011. I don't know why.
One sided love is really invisible .
I hate myself for always being the one who love too deep, fall to hard.
被爱是幸福的, 但我却没有这个福气 .
I tell myself, I'm not going to search for love anymore ,
because i seriously have no sense of direction, im tired of making u-turns.
I shall wait for you to find me .
I should be gentle with myself, i'm tired of crying, missing, waiting,hoping.
Cause after all , i get back is nothing .
Its nice to see my friends doing good in their love life.
Yes, its kind of sorrow to see myself stuck in such situation.
All i can say is, these guys never appreciated me . so be it.
They always tell me , 找一个爱你的人，比你还爱他的人。
I wish to, i'm always loving too much .
I'm exhausted .
休息是为了要走更长远的路 .
I knew this reason many years back but , i've never really stick to it.
Its really time to stop hoping ;
Time time time, all i need is time ,
If i can forget about v, i can forget about you too.
Im certain if im willing to , i would one day.
I'm not a dumb fool , im a human , i have feelings too.
Why must i let them all hurt me over and over again.
Time to wake up .

I never expect in my life ,
Its not necessary to have a boyfriend.
Cause' as long as i have my best friends being there for me,
They can give me the joy that i wouldn't get from anyone else.
They were great , although we don't see each others anytime we want .
But, deep down in heart, always remembered in heart .
I don't know how long its going to take me to get over him.
But , for what i can do now is to stop expecting anything from him .
Everything is done, its now gone , time to move on.
I won't cease loving myself anymore .
And i too , hope anyone who is stuck in my condition,
will too move on because , if he/she cares , you wouldn't be left, devastated.

Lastly , I missed you , and its been more than 36hours since i heard from you.
And i felt sorry for taking spaces in ur inbox .
I'm just never good enough for you to satisfy me ,
I've been trying, i think i really did change, i talked less , smile less , joke less and
cried more .___.''

Bye .